What you will actually wish you’d done more of on your deathbed
What do you want to make more of, dosh or memories?
Accepting you know it’s a straw man question: what’s more important—experience or optimising for tax fficiency?
(Hint: maybe there is a way to do both, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.)
At the end of the day, what do you want to look back on—the time you spent on that pivot table to rebalance the portfolio so that you felt like a true Excel Olympian, or that amazing Greek Summer when you said **** it and took everyone off to eat olives and lie on the beach for six weeks?
I think you’ll know where I’m going with this, but do you want to dedicate memory storage neurons to that slick pension consolidation or teaching the kid to drive? (Well, maybe that one’s not so clear cut!)
What I feel I must remind folks all the time is that money is just a tool. You use the stuff to have an incredible life and give back to others. After years working in palliative care, Australian nurse Bronnie Ware documented the most common regrets expressed by those nearing death. What she found: we regret not living a life true to themselves, working too much, failing to express our feelings, losing touch with friends, and not allowing ourselves to be happier.
Why I want you to die with literally ‘zero’
As anyone who’s spent 5 minutes with me will know, for me it’s all about what Bill Perkins says in Die With Zero (2021): your aim should be to optimise your money to maximize meaningful life experiences, spending intentionally throughout different stages of life rather than saving excessively for a future they may never reach—and you should be looking to create “memory dividends”, experiences of lasting value that can be enjoyed and reflected upon for years.
The book—and the team at Thera Wealth Management—makes a beautifully argued case for thoughtful financial planning that aims to leave behind as little unspent wealth as possible, ensuring that money serves life, rather than the other way around.
Yet even today, many successful people spend an extraordinary amount of time optimising money and comparatively little time optimising life. Maybe that’s not too surprising: as a high achiever, it’s kind of in your DNA to excel at everything, and a lower tax bill and higher rate of return investments are solid things that create amazing value over time.
But there is a point where optimisation becomes an end in itself. If the pursuit of an extra 0.5% return consumes more mental energy and especially TIME than planning the experiences that make life meaningful, then something’s gone wrong.
If you feel you’re slipping on this, just remind yourself that you don’t want wealth for its own sake (unless you’re literally Ebenezer Scrooge), you want what it enables: freedom, experiences, security for you and your loved ones, opportunity. But so many of us delay enjoying the very experiences we have spent decades accumulating wealth to enjoy: “I’ll take that sabbatical next year,” “I’ll do the safari with Margaret when the markets are calmer,” “We’ll downsize after I sell the business.”
Life isn’t a race but a marathon with lots of scenic breaks
The thing is, friends, life doesn’t operate on a financial timetable. Children grow up; parents age; health changes; chances disappear. There are just some things you can only enjoy at particular stages of life, like a family skiing holiday with teenage children or travelling extensively with ageing parents.
The value of these experiences often declines if postponed too long. Like it or not, unlike money, time cannot compound.
There are returns here may never appear on a spreadsheet but can be far more valuable. Nobody sits at 85 reminiscing about a tax-efficient portfolio adjustment; they remember the moments that made them feel most alive, loved, and valuable.
A financial plan should not simply answer, “How much can I accumulate?” It should answer, “What kind of life can I afford to live?”
In the end, nobody remembers the spreadsheet.
They remember the life they used it to build. Speak to a full fat financial planner to find your way to both grab life experiences and make sure you have enough to do so.
Have a brilliant Summer. Full of experiences that you can bank for life!